


Mj vs the World

by Ma_skee



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Christianity, Depression, Diary/Journal, Eating Disorders, Good Friend Ned Leeds, Hurt Michelle Jones, Lent, MCU AU Fest, Michelle Jones Needs a Hug, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, POV Michelle Jones, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Peter Parker, Religion, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:21:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22919869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ma_skee/pseuds/Ma_skee
Summary: She picked up her pen and began writing the same thing over and over in her notebook.I don't know what I'm doing.Something about writing over and over made her feel better.OrA day to day life from Mjs point of viewYou can totally ignore the first chapter, it's not important
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

Lent. 

Mj hadn't been to church in a while. She was busy with decathlon practice. But last night they had a banquet to celebrate the end of the season. 

Ned had asked her "what are you giving up for lent?" 

She had no idea. 

She thought about it. What could she give up? What was a habit she wanted to have she could work on? Actually, lent was supposed to be about giving something up to be closer with God. That should be her priority. Reading her Bible, taking notes, every morning.

But, she also wanted to lose weight. She knew she ate far to many unhealthy snacks. Heck, she just finished a huge bowl of chips and salsa. What if she tried intermittent fasting? Only eating between 12 PM and 8pm. That could work. But she would also have to exercise. At least .... a half hour of action a day? 

Ok so, her plan was

\- read my Bible each morning, along with taking notes  
-go to youth group on Wednesdays  
\- intermittent fasting - only eating between 12pm and 8pm  
\- at least a half hour of action every day  
\- and also delete social media

That last one was easy. She made sure she knew her passwords before deleting Instagram and Twitter. The rest would be a bit more difficult. She poked around in the app store for a bit to find an intermittent fasting app. Easy. But the real trial would start tomorrow, when she woke up.

She currently weighs in at 142 lbs. She wants to weigh in at 110. Kinda a crazy goal. Lose 30 pounds?? It might take more than the 40 days of lent but at least it could get her started. 

Let's see how this goes.


	2. Day 2

The morning was not a good start to Mjs day. Her alarm went off, but she ignored like she normally did. She hit snooze over and over until she only had twenty minutes to get ready. That's what she normally did. But that ment she had no time to read her Bible, her biggest goal.

Fail.

She also ate a yogurt for breakfast, breaking the intermittent fasting rules. But, she didn't buy a school lunch. She made a delicious pasta salad and it tasted much better than a soggy chicken burger and salty tater tots. It got her thinking, maybe intermittent fasting wasn't for her. But it was O N E D A Y. She had to try a few more days. Maybe.

During health, they had to create a poster about a celebrity with mental health issues. Mj did not like that assignment. It felt... invasive. Besides, "mental issues" had such a wide spectrum. Mj had mental health issues. Realistically, everyone of her classmates did too. Things like anxiety and depression? Definitely. It was high school. It was just a matter of how much it affected each person and how they knew how to deal with it.

But the rest of the day was a bit more difficult. She hadn't been at school on Monday and Tuesday, and the way her schedule worked she had half her classes one day, then the other half the next. So today was the first time all week of having science and math class.

Math class had always been a struggle since 8th grade. There's a long story there. Somehow Mj never actually took 8th grade math and jumped right to Algebra I. She had yet to catch up, three years later. But the class was mostly okay. Normally it was really difficult to ask for help because most of the people in her class were big nerds and she didn't want to ask them because she felt dumb. But luckily Mj was grouped with Betty from decathlon and they were able to work out the problems together.

Science was a different story. While she was gone, her teacher, Mrs. Linch, had started a new project. Each student had to pick a project, any project, and incorporate chemistry into it. That should be easy, chemistry is in litterly everything. But of course there were other tiny little standards they had to meet that created complications. As class went on, Mj felt more and more behind. To make matters worse, Mrs. Linch passed out grades from the last assignment, which Mj did not do good on. Not only was she behind, she now had to try and redo the old assignment to get a better grade. She had to keep her grades up. She was so, so tired of this school. But if she kept her grades up then she would be able to apply for the running start program and get college credits.

The blank project document sat in front of her, the blinking cursor taunting. Mj didn't have a project idea. At least, not one that fit all the criteria.

Blink.

Blink.

Tears well in her eyes. She taks a deep breath. She was not going to cry. No. Instead she pulled up a new Google Doc page and began typing.

_Slow and careful breaths, keep the tears at bay, don’t pay no mind to the thoughts in your head,_   
_it’s only a blade, you know it doesn’t hurt, don’t pay no mind, don’t pay no mind. You know it_   
_doesn’t hurt. Slow and careful breaths, keep the tears at bay. Play the music loud so it’s the only_   
_thing you hear. Up and down my arm, long, red, bleeding scars.I know it doesn’t hurt. I just have_   
_to take care afterwards. I know I know I know it seems bad. I know it is bad but I still want to._   
_Slow and careful breaths. Keep the tears at bay. Do your work, pretend you’re fine, you know_   
_you’re not, long, red, bleeding scarms up and down my arms. Slow and careful, slow and_   
_careful, slow and careful, slow and careful, slow and careful, slow and careful, slow and careful, slow and careful, slow and carfe, slow and careful, slow so slow so careful so slow, slow slow_   
_slow until it stops. Long, red, bleeding scars, up and down my arms. Forget the outside, keep it_   
_inside. Nothing done nothing done, going to fail, fall behind, get it done get it done, you stupid_   
_stupid stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid just do it so you can leave, so you can get away_   
_from this awful twisted messed up school get away get away get away._

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Peter get up from his seat and walk over with his chromebook. He took a seat next to her.

"You okay, Mj?"

"No."

"What's up?"

"I have no idea what to do for a project."

"I have a list of ideas you could look at."

"Sure"

Peter spun around his chromebook to show her the document. She read over the list a few times before something clicked. 

Invisible Ink. 

"Thanks Peter." She turned his computer back to him. 

"No problem." He closed his chromebook and slid it into his ratty backpack. Class was over. Mj caught a quick glance of his red and blue suit. He really needed to hide that better.

On the bus ride home, Mj played her music really loud to drown out the rest of the bus. The sun was shining down and the sky was clear. Really nice weather for February. 

But when she got home the first thing she did was look through the fridge and the pantry, trying to find a snack. She came up with chips and salsa. Not a good choice for losing weight. She had weighed in at 142 lbs this morning. 

The sun still shone so bright. It would be a waste to stay inside. So she pulled her longboard out from hibernation and walked to the park where there were smooth concrete paths. 

It was a glorious feeling. The warm sun on her skin, wind blowing in her hair, going fast enough that it felt like she was floating. 

But the best moments never last. 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. It was her mom, telling her that she would be bringing home Chinese. Also not good for weight loss. 

After dinner was homework time. She set up in the kitchen, hoping that having her family around would keep her on track better than when she holed up in her room.

Mj made herself a to do list. It was full of assignments she didn't understand and even more she had to redo. Tears seeped in. She hadn't even started yet and she was already crying. This was terrible. 

She picked up her pen and began writing the same thing over and over in her notebook. 

_I don't know what I'm doing._

Something about writing over and over made her feel better. Sometimes it took and entire back, back and front. This time it only took four lines.

Mj managed to fill out the draft for science, thanks to getting an idea from Peter, write an annotated bibliography for a source she wanted to use for an essay, get her parents to fill out a quick survey for health and a few math problems. 

She looked down at her Fitbit. 8,452 steps and 2,047 calories. Part of her lent goal was to get her 10,000 steps and 2000 calories everyday, so she took a quick walk around the block. 

She came home with bright red cheeks from a blustery wind. 

Mj ended her day with a shower and brushing her teeth.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GUESS who though they uploaded this chapter but actually it didnt save and didnt post and then didnt even realize that until today and typed it up all over again during school (oops) and is now posting again? Definitely not me.

The next morning, Mj woke up ten minutes earlier than she normally did. She was going to use this time to read her Bible.

She slid out of bed and grabbed her notebook and Bible off of her nightstand. She set a timer on her phone because if she spent more than ten minutes on this, she would miss the bus. 

Mj stretched out on her stomach even though she hadn't   
vacuumed her room for a long time.

When the timer went off, Mj went back to her regular routine. She quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater, tied her hair back, and put on a touch of blush. Then she threw her notebook and her chromebook into her bag and hurried downstairs to make a lunch.

After poking through the fridge, Mj decided to make a salad. It consisted of some leaves, walnuts, raspberry vinaigrette, avocado and half an apple cut into cubes. She sliced the other  
half to eat for breakfast. She tossed the lunch container in her bag and with an apple slice in her mouth she tugged on her shoes - old school vans - and rushed out the door.

As Mj turned the corner to her bus stop, she watched the bus drive by.

Shit.

Slowly Mj turned around and trudged back home. Her dad was going to be pissed.

She pushed open the door, closed it behind her, and then stood at the bottom of the steps.

Her chest hurt.

She really didn't want to go upstairs.

Luckily, she didn’t have to. Right then her dad opened his bedroom door, buttoning up his work shirt. He stopped when he saw her standing at the bottom of the steps.

“Did you miss the bus?”

“Yeah.”

“Damnit Mj!” She flinched. “I have a meeting this morning. I was going to be 40 minutes early and get some extra work done. Now I’m going to be late, thanks to you.”

Except he wouldn’t. Her school was literally on his way to work.

“Get in the car.”

Even though he had been complaining about being late to work, it took Mj's father another ten minutes before he started driving.  
The silence in the car was broken with a radio podcast her father liked to listen to. The Lars Larson Show. They had a Corona expert talking. Mj thought the Coronavirus was overrated.

Mj actually made it to school before her bus did.

“Thank you” she whispered as she got out.

Her first class of the day was Music Production. They were in the middle of a project. The goal was to create two different tracks for two emotions - one negative and one positive. Mj’s  
emotions were angry and happy. She had a start to the angry one and actually managed to finish it during class time. Now she had to have the other track and an artist statement done by  
Wednesday. That would be more difficult.

Her second class was Health. Today the teacher was absent so with shaky hands the sub read out the assignment to the class. They were supposed to make a poster about ending stigmas  
around mental health. Mj was partnered with Peter, Kiana - who was on decathlon - and a girl named Ashley. Mj used a white paint pen to draw little flowers along the border of their big  
green paper. She then took a blue glitter pen to draw dots in the center.

In the next group over, Betty actually took their paper and folded it into a giant paper fortune teller with the information written on the inside flaps.

Mjs first core of the day was Seminar. That day there was also a big robotics competition and because Mj went to a school with many nerds, there were about ten people absent. Her teacher,  
Mr. Quill, stood in the middle of the classroom and waved his arms together everyone's attention.

“Guys! Guys, come here.” The class jumped from their chairs and surrounded him. “Come in really close, closer.” He looked around at his expectant students and then began to whisper like  
he was sharing a secret. “So, as you may have noticed, all of the nerds are gone at their robotics thing. Also, it’s really nice outside. So I was wondering who would prefer to go work out  
at the amphitheater?”

He was immediately greeted with a chorus of approval. “Ok, great! Grab your things.” The class quickly repacked their bags, left a note on the board, and headed down to the amphitheater.

Mj loved being outside. Even though she could hardly see her computer screen and the amphitheater was very dusty and left prints on everyone's clothes, it felt good to be in the fresh,  
crisp air. It was refreshing to her lungs.

She worked in little spurts, focused and typing for a solid few minutes and then turning to talk with her classmates. One thing she talked about with a girl named Grace was cutting her hair.  
Mj wanted to cut it short, really short. Like a pixie cut, like Grace. Grace said she thought Mj would look really cute with a pixie cut.

By the end of the class, no one was focused anymore. Several kids' computers had actually died. They had planned on charging them in the classroom but the outside was much more fun.

Mj had pulled out her phone and was watching old iconic vine compilations with Peter and Ned.

When they went inside for lunch the class found out that there had actually been an earthquake drill while they were outside. Kinda funny.

The next class was history. Everyone in her grade hated history. Actually, everyone hated the teacher, Mrs. Johnson. She was a harsh grader and Mj had three reassessments to work on in  
her class. The class was spent reading from a packet about the French Revolution and answering questions on their chromebooks. It was painstakingly boring. But luckily school was out after this class.

The bus ride home consisted of Mj playing her music stupidly loud to drown out the screaming sixth graders.

When Mj arrived home, she was surprised to find both her parents already home as well. Her mom wanted to take her out shopping because there were some super crazy good deals  
happening or something like that that would definitely draw a mother to the store. They were just about to leave when Mj’s father butted in.

“Hold on, Mj. You owe me from this morning, I drove you to school. Vacuum the floor.”

Mj’s first thought was I don’t owe you shit. But that quickly changed to Of course you do Mj. You always owe him. He does everything for you.

Vacuuming didn’t take very long anyway and soom Mj and her mother were on their way.

While Mj was poking through the clothes she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. It was a text from Peter.

Hey, wanna come over and watch I am not okay with this

Yeah, lemme ask

“Hey, Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I go to Peters tonight? We want to watch a new Netflix show.”

“To Peters? But he's… “

“He’s what Mom?”

“Well, he’s a - a guy.”

“Mom.”

“I’m just saying.”

“We’re friends! Nothing more.”

“Hmm.”

“Please?”

“...fine.”

“Yes! Thank you, Mom.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let's go try these clothes on.”

Mj quickly texed Peter.

I can come but it’s going to be a while. I’m out shopping.

A while ended up being around 8 o’clock. After a quick kiss goodbye to her mom, Mj ran through the drizzle to Peter’s building. She took the stairs because it would burn more calories and sheknew the night was going to be filled with pizza and candy. She knocked on his door and heard his footsteps as he ran to let her in.

“Finally!”

“Whatever. My mom probably had me try on everything in that store.” She stepped in and set her bag behind the couch before bending over to take off her shoes.

“Because you took absolutely forever and because May had to run back to work, we already cooked the pizza and it had time to go cold so you’ll have to reheat it.”

“Fine by me.” Mj retorted, already pulling down a plate. She picked two slices and set them in the microwave.

Soon the two were situated on the couch. Each had a cherry pepsi, a heated blanket, and Mjhad her reheated pizza.

I am Not Okay With This was a beautiful show. It was the perfect mix of Stranger Things and The End of the F***ing World, two of her favorite shows, along with the actors from It? The whole thing was just perfect.

The pair got all the way through the third episode when the door burst open and May bustled in. Peter paused the TV.

“Hey May!”

“Hey Peter. Hi Mj.”

“Hi.”

“Hey, May?” Peter asked.

“Yeah?”

“Would it be okay if Mj and I went down to Delmers to get a slushie?”

“Um,” May looked at the clock over the oven. “If you stick together, bring your phones, and areback… say by 10:30”

“Yeah, we can do that.”

“Okay, let me give you some cash.”

“May, I can pay - “

“Peter, just take it. It’s only five dollars. My treat?”

“...Okay.”

Mj and Peter pulled on their shoes and jackets.

May gave a big yawn. “I’m exhausted. I’m going to head to bed.” She kissed Peter’s forehead.

“Please be safe.”

“We will.”

“Good”

May turned and headed down the hallway.

“Night May!” Peter called.

“NIght May!” Mj copied.

“Night kids. Back by 10:30!”

“Got it!”

The two rushed out the door. The drizzle had stopped, thank goodness. Mj didn’t want her hairto frizz up. They made it to Delmers and walked to the back where the slushie machine was. They decided to get a bigger size to share and filled it with both blue raspberry and red cherry.

After paying, they began to walk around the streets. Mj held the drink with her jacket over her hands because it was February, it was cold and they were drinking a slushie. Suddenly, Peter  
stopped and began to look around them.

“What is it Peter?”

He looked over their shoulders, then grabbed her hand.

“Come with me.”

He pulled her down an alleyway, all the way to the back, away from the light and full of rat piss.

“Peter, you better tell me what is happening right now.”

“I want to show you something.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his web shooters.

“Oh no, nonono I am not doing that again. I almost threw up in the middle of the air.”

Peter snapped them onto his wrists. “ We won’t be swinging, we’ll be climbing. I can do it without these, but I want you to come with me.”

“Climbing? Climbing where?”

Peter nodded to the wall behind him. It was a tall, crumbly brick wall.

“How am I supposed to climb that?”

“These web shooters can actually reel the web back in so it would be able to pull us up. See the ledge at the top? I’ll shoot the web onto that so when it pulls us up we won’t be scraping against the wall.”

Mj just stared at him.

“Please come with me. I really want to show you this.”

“...Fine”

Mj tucked the slurpee into her jacket and wrapped her arms around Peters neck. He wrapped his arm around her waist and shot the web with surprising accuracy.

“Ready?”

Mj tucked her head into his neck and nodded. He hit a button on his wrist and soon they were floating in the air. For a second Mj though she was going to slip out of his grip and plunge to the  
ground but Peter quickly readjusted his grip. When they got to the top, Peter had to sick himself to the wall and help push Mj up over the ledge. She found herself sitting in gravel. Soon Peter  
landed next to her and helped her stand. Then he led her to a massive electrical box in the middle. This had a ladder on the side which she began to climb, up and up and up.

When Mjshead finally went over the edge, her breath caught in her throat.

It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

Lights twinkled all around them. Cars down below, window lights going on and off all around, blinking plane lights above them. 

Slowly she and Peter sat on the edge of the box, taking in the view. Mj pulled the slurpee from her jacket, which had surprisingly not spilled all over her. Then  
she scooted closer to Peter and lay her head on his shoulder. He lay his head on top of hers. It was a beautiful moment. They sat there for a long time, just sitting and accepting this moment.

Sadly it had to end. They promised to be home by 10:30.

By the time they got home, both of them had stiff fingers from the cold. They quickly huddledunder the heated blanket together to watch the show. What a beautiful show.

During the show, Peter got up and tiptoed to the kitchen. He reached above the fridge andopened the cabinets, revealing Mays stash of alcohol. She didn’t drink much, but that didn’t  
mean she didn’t keep any in her house. He looked to Mj, questioning. She nodded. Soon he came back with two small glasses of pear vodka. It tasted like whiteboard markers, but thatwasn’t stopping Mj. She didn’t care that it burned. The burning felt good.

By the time the show ended, both kids were exhausted. Peter moved to the other couch so they could stretch out and they soon fell asleep.

Mj woke up to a small whimper. It was still dark, ink seeping in through the blinds. For a second she thought maybe she imagined the whimper, or maybe it was a dream, but then she heard it again. It was Peter. He was twitching and shaking. Bad dream? He often came to school exhausted because he couldn’t sleep because of nightmares. Slowly Mj slid off the couch and  
sat on the floor in front of him. She didn’t want to wake him, he needed the sleep. She tried to think of how May would comfort him. Tentatively she reached out and ran her hand through his  
hair. With her other hand she rubbed soothing circles on his arm. After a few minutes, he seemed to relax. Good. Mj crawled back in on her own couch, and fell back asleep.


End file.
